Your Destinies Lie Along A Different Path Than Mine...

Latey I guess that I have been thinking. We are not too far off from starting our final chapter together. I just think of all that we have been through... all the places that we are going. We do not have that much more time to spend together. We are all leaving each other soon.

I keep looking back on the actions in which I have taken over the last three years and the decisions in which I have made. Regret none of them do I. Only because that is how I know life was meant to be. I do look back on them and ask myself a few questions. I guess I am coming to the conclusion that I am not the person that I am supposed to be right now. I do not know what to do about it or where to start I just know that.

Over the next few months I have already forseen that I will have to make decisions that will determine the outcome of my life. Which path do I want to start on? Where do I want to go? I fear that I will have to bargain with Satan to achieve the goals in life in which I want to achieve. I already know of two deals that are currently on the table for my future. Now I just have to accept them. Difficult it will be, I know to accept one. I look at that one at least once a day every day. I examine each possible outcome. I know what I want and I know how to get it. It is just doing it and how many people I am going to affect/hurt by doing it.

Part of me wants to have something that could never be real. Other parts of me just want the simplest things. I am so torn. Fighting in me everyday. Take the path of what is right, which is longer and harder, or the path of what is easy, which is shorter and simpler. And the love factor does not help the situation. Tearing me up inside. I wish that I could turn off all emotion, as I once did. Then there wouldn't be any problems.

I believe that the phoenix has reached its climax and is burning into ashes onces more...

I don't know anymore. I not becoming the person that I am supposed to be.

Preston out