Weep For Ourselves

For We Know Not What We Do

Day in and day out we live our lives. We fight our battles. We amass our armies. We fight gallantly and retire with our allies. We are happy and rejoice. We are sad and cry. Everyday, the same situation. Over and over again. And yet we continue to do it. It will never end. Ever. Once we leave this place a new being will take over right from where we left off. Again and again.

The paths that are laid before is are never easy. Nobody ever said that they would be. But we choose them. Some hastily, others more carefully but we choose them. These paths shape who we are. Who we will become. Who are friends will be. These paths lead us to the next path and that path will lead us to another. Until we reach the end of our path, when our heirs take over and lead their own path. To start the cycle over.

In each of our lives we are meant to endure a certain amount of pain and suffering, happiness and satisfaction, fame and glory, death and destruction. Through these trials in which mankind has been meant to endure, time and time again, there are those of us that bite the dust and those of those that live to make it through the fiery depths of hell and back. For those that bite the dust they have given in. There comes a point in their lives when the force of nature, outside their control, finally breaks through them. No matter how hard they try, it will eventually reach them. It is inevitable. Once they start down this path, forever will it dominate their destiny. They choose the path of what is easy over the path of the righteous. For most of us we will never know this path. We will never know its power and wealth. This is the end of them as we know it. Their final days.

Life. What is it? What are we? We are here for such a small amount of time that we are ultimately we do not matter. We are so insignificant. And yet, there are some us that will easily be remembered until the end of time itself. Why is this? Why are we not all remembered? Are we all bound to be forgotten? And if this is true, who really wants to be forgotten?

I am sick. Sick from the disease eating away at me inside. Sick of those who don't appreciate their blessings. Sick of those who scoff at the suffering of others. Sick of all of the conflict in our lives. I'm sick of it all! It is difficult to understand why people do this.Let us not forget karma. The fact that what we do here and now will some how is reciprocated in the future. Some of you may not believe in karma but you cannot call yourself Christian and not believe in karma. Whether it be five minutes from the act that you committed or five years, each act a human being commits will be reciprocated. Whether it is for better or for worse is up to us. One should be ever cautious how he/she precedes with his/her life due to karma. It could make or break each of our lives. Such as losing a loved one.

Why do we weep over those that we have lost, when there will always be others to take their place? If they are not important, if they are so insignificant then why cry? Why waste the time and the energy? At times we cry for those that we have not even lost. We cry for those that have only gone a short while. But we always hope that they will come back. Because we love them.

Love? What is love? The feeling we get in our hearts for somebody? Then why is it so easily broken? Is it because we are human? Perhaps. But after it is broken then why do some continue to love? There are those that have loved at a certain time, who may never love again, due to some massive heart break. But that person will continue to love the very person that broke their heart. Why? Because that person is bound to hope.

What is hope? Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of our greatest strength, and our greatest weakness. It is what Pandora left in that God forsaken box. Hope is what drives all of us. We hope that we get good grades. We hope that we can get into a good college. We hope that we will live great lives. We live and die off of hope. If we lose hope, we lose everything.

When all is said and done. When the general makes his last sweep over the crimson covered battlefield of life, he must reflect on the battles that just took place. On the war that was just fought. In time we will all meet our ultimate fate. There is no way to avoid it. We cannot stop death. It is inevitable. We will all die our deaths. We are all dying as we speak. Whithering away into eternity. Whether it be surrounded by friends and family, or painfully alone, that is the choice in which we all have to make. That also depends on the path in which you choose to take.

The truth of the matter is that we are all important. In our own ways. As long as we are alive there were always be ones to hope and pray for us. And even after that we will touch enough people’s lives to never truly be forgotten. And as we pass away, hopefully, the ones that we did touch will tell their heirs about us. The great accomplishments that we made, the colossal tasks that we completed. It is in each other that we will forever survive. When we each stop loving, stop hoping, we are all truly dead.

What we do in the time that is given to us is our choice and our choice alone. Now, yes, there could and will be factors looking in and putting pressures on each of us for the duration of our lives but the choice is still left up to us. We could choose to become hard working individuals, or we could choose the path of the quick and the easy. Any time any where, it is there for us. Hopefully, most of us will continue to work hard and strive to be our very best.

I write this not to preach to any of you so please do not read it that way. The purpose of life is always out there for all of us to find. Do I believe in fate? To a point I believe that our death has already been decided for us but what we do before that time is up to us. I just wish that I knew some of the knowledge that I now have….

Some things would have been different….

-Preston

Ps. Though the Phoenix will forever rise, there are times where I wish that it did not have to. The thought of that stays with me everyday. In my heart. It eats at me day and night. It will probably never end. Until the day I die...

S.uck A.ss T.est

SAT

This is the test of death. Like the worst thing that will ever happen in our entire lives. We will study for it and prepare for it harder than any other test in our entire lives and yet it will all be over in a short time. But this test is just not any test. This test holds the very meaning of our lives.
Have fun.

Preston

A Safe Trip

Landing on Kamino

I have safely landed on Kamino. I have yet to send my report via transmission so this will have to do for now.

I know this is bad but I go through two phases. The first phase, and the best, is love for all of mankind. Like it's not a pity but like I seriously love everybody. No matter who they are or anything. Like they are all at the same playing level. I guess in this phase I do kind of feel sorry for everybody. I know that I usually want to help everybody during this phase as much as I can. I tend to be too nice and giving. The there's the second phase, which is terrible. I loathe mankind. Everything about it. During these times I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste their stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.

I guess it might be the Gemini twins in me. I don't know. I like phase one more than phase two but there are somedays where I just can't help it. I know that is is wrong to have phase two at all and that I should be better than that. But I am not. I know that there are some of you that can relate to how I feel and what I endure.

That's all for today.

Preston

We tasted victory...

Josh, Andy, and myself!

We lost last night but it was a blast being there.

Preston